“Chachha Bidhayak hai Hamre”, “Tu janta hai mera baap kon hai?” “Tujhe pata nai tune kisse panga liya hai ” are the beautiful metaphorical figure of speeches, that are going to create a great set of classic literature of the upcoming millennial. They have gotten us chills more than the curses of the ancient most sadhus or the enormous scale of that sadistic teacher, who has created nightmares out of our childhood.
But you don’t actually need a Bidhayak Chachha in your family to enlighten the world. Just like any other public interview, you need a correct attitude. So, here I enlist 5 essential props in making of a brat.
Never forget to style your hair like a hipster. The most important thing is your unique hair. Thorny Alpaca hairs that Bekham ditched at least two decades back. NECESSARY. (Honestly I don’t really know what they are really called) But yes, Find out, go move. And a finely pruned and sheared beard, because you are a dude!
Gym mirror Selfie
Build those biceps big, WAY big. And wear that size ‘S’ T-Shirt that urges and screams to be torn, each and every thread must binge cry, MAKE SURE. And another motivational quote must commit suicide on the caption of your picture. Because, this is what makes you strong. ABS.
Gucci belts, Smart watch, an iphone, where the apple MUST be showing, and then you need every mainstream sexist Punjabi song in your Car. Yes a Car that you should drive in the most uncertainly reckless way, because this is how Brat works. And the music must be loud enough for at least 100 people around go deaf. Also sunglasses at 2 am work like chemical X. And a girlfriend, with no opinions at all.
This is real concern, you need, to be ready to threaten. That is what makes you, YOU. Use words like Dope, Stud, Swag, and use the F-word for prefix. Then learn to dominate one self. Irritate them, to the height, let them curse you and then you use those golden words, “Tu janta nahi mai kon hu.” Apart from the fact they just met you, they must hear it. Because it’s Dope.
A skinny or overweight sidekick is the soul of your existence. The person who makes you look good, the person who fights for you and ends up gets beaten. Who talks on your behalf, stares on your behalf, breathes on your behalf, often takes your girlfriend out on your behalf. And in every job possible, makes you look like the better option.
You thought it will come easy? Nah! It takes hard work to be a lad, where hard work is money and from your Dad’s bank.
Think twice before cussing behind his back. Unless you are Him.
BE A BRAT !